As I explained in my last post, I took a break from making music after I got sick (just a cold, but it was enough to keep me from singing) and decided to re-evaluate my ambitious plan of sharing one new original song every week. I knew that I was going to have to allow myself more leeway in my schedule, but I imagined I would be more or less dedicating myself to music again once I recovered from my sickness.

Yet for some reason I wasn’t quite feeling inspired to work on music even after I recovered. I guess the whole incident threw me off so much that I couldn’t get back into the swing of things. So I thought maybe I needed a longer break, and decided to spend some time doing something else just for a change of pace.

Because I’m a weird nerd and this is my idea of “fun” and even “leisure”, I decided to try learning a bit of some random foreign language as I often used to in my free time. I’m not really sure why I picked this particular language, but on a whim I chose to teach myself some German. It had been a while since I was really into languages, so I thought this would just be a fun distraction I would probably get bored with after a couple of days. I thought I would learn a few basic phrases and come away refreshed and ready to work on music again. But things didn’t quite work out that way. [Read the rest]

The Woes of a Serial Obsessive

February 11, 2015

If you’ve been following me since I started my 2015 Music Project, you may have noticed that I didn’t post a song this week.

I have a pretty legitimate excuse, though: I got sick. I had a song I was almost ready to call finished, but I needed to redo some of the vocals on it. Unfortunately though, I found myself unable to sing due to a sore throat and unable to even put headphones on to record due to a throbbing pain in my ears, so I couldn’t finish the song. I had a song or two I could have posted anyway just to post something, but nothing felt finished enough and I figured people would understand: Sometimes things happen, and you get sick. So I allowed myself to skip this week.

Honestly though, this whole incident has made me reconsider what I’m doing here. It’s made me think I might have to admit that one song a week really is too much.

I should have known this from the beginning, and really, I did. I knew it was a crazy plan and said as much. But I was so excited about getting into music again, and felt such a sense of urgency about it, that it was almost like I couldn’t stop myself from trying anyway.

I’m self-aware enough to know that I have a tendency to do things like this: to be so enthusiastic about new pursuits that I bite off more than I can chew. Yet for some reason I keep doing it.

For better or worse, I have a very obsessive personality. For lack of a better term I would call myself a “serial obsessive.” When I first become interested in something or decide to do something, it’s so irresistibly compelling to me that I become completely obsessed with it to the point of losing interest in everything else. Suddenly I want to spend every waking hour doing nothing but learning about that subject or practicing that skill. This is a good thing in a way, because I tend to become quite good at the things I dedicate myself to as long as I can manage to stay dedicated long enough. But there are definitely some annoying things about it.

I didn't draw this and am not sure who did. But my brain definitely works like this.

Yup, this is pretty much me. (Drawing by Natalie Dee)

[Read the rest]