Follow Your Dreams… Then Let Them Go

by janafadness on April 3, 2012

I’ve had a lot of thoughts floating around in my head lately, but they’re all so jumbled together that I haven’t been able to get any of them out into a blog post. So I decided to do something different and just record a video.

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*Update (March 2013): As you know if you’ve been following along, I ended up not going back to live in Japan after all. I do still stand by the general premise of this video, however.

Let me know what you think! :)

  • Vidaemcristo

    What about Korea? It’s a very similar culture to Japan, but I’ve heard the Korean culture is much more “balanced” than the Japanese life (with the workohalism, etc.)… :)

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

      It’s interesting you say that, because personally I get the impression that Korea is even more extreme than Japan as far as workaholism and over-zealous studying goes. But of course, I can’t say for sure because I’ve never lived in Korea! I have actually thought about going to live there for a while, but the truth is that I’m a bit tired of all this wandering around. There are certain things you just can’t have as a nomad, and I’m not sure if it’s the lifestyle for me. What I think I want is to have some sort of “home base” where I stay most of the time, but still continue traveling regularly on a more short-term basis. And I think Japan is the place I want to call home, at least for now. :)

  • Rebecabrown88

    This is great! What will you do in Japan? Work for an actual company or teach? Think you’ll live there indefinetly?

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       I’m not sure about any specifics yet. All I know is that I’ll have to get some sort of job in order to stay legally in Japan on a long-term basis, but since the majority of job openings in Japan start in April, I probably won’t actually head over there until early next year. So I have a bit of time to think about it. :) As for whether or not I’ll live there indefinitely, I don’t know! If there’s anything I’ve learned up until now, it’s that life is unpredictable. I’m just taking it one step at a time!

  • Bine

    Long time reader, still my first time to comment on your blog, but anyway: It happens that I encountered the same struggles as you did when having the urge to do something (may not go as far and call it a dream) and as soon as I reached my goal, I felt restless and didn’t know where to turn to.
    Though actually, I really envy you for having dreams to follow. Not only you, but also a lot of my friends who happen to work in the so-called “creative industries” – aspiring musicians, fashion designer, photographers and so on – they all have these dreams they follow. And though just looking at them and the hard work they pull off to reach their goals inspires me a lot, I have to admit I’m also getting sad and stressed from time to time. Since honestly speaking, I’m still searching for something I could call a “dream”. Of course I have a few goals I want to reach and things I do work for even in this very moment. But this one inspiring (or aspiring?) “dream” that would make me live happily ever after or at least could make me believe that I would – well, I still didn’t find it. Maybe I will just have to try a few more things out until I find my way. But as ridiculous as it sounds, it’s not that easy, and I feel pretty stressed out for still not knowing where I want to turn myself towards in life.

    Anyway, greetings from a German girl who happens to live in Tokyo and therefore forgot most of her English (so sorry for all the bad German grammar put into random English words!). Please come back to Japan, follow your dreams! And maybe we’ll meet some time right here in the middle of Tokyo (though it may be easier to communicate in proper Japanese then…) :)

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       Well, maybe you don’t have to have a great big dream that seems like it would change the direction of your whole life. You say you have a few goals you’re working towards at the moment, so why not just keep focusing on those? In a way, I envy you for just being able to take things one day at a time! I’m always getting lost in my daydreams, and sometimes it makes me forget to just live in the present moment.

      Your English is just fine, by the way! You’re welcome to write comments in Japanese though, if you want. :)

  • Mikemike

    Anthony Robbins has a great story (in the book “Awaken the Giant Within”) about dreams that made a 100% difference in my own life.

    Back in 1983, Robbins spend 2 weeks on the trans-siberia train in
    Russia, and with nothing to do, he wrote down every dream he had,
    brainstorming every possibility of what he could ever imagine doing,
    being, having, creating, experiencing, or contributing.

    He never stopped to think whether he could actually achieve any of these or not, he just wanted to capture any possibility that inspired him, and
    wrote it down…for dreams to be achieved from tomorrow to 20 years
    from then on.

    He then made milestones to be achieved for each of the dreams, working
    backwards, turning each of the dreams to achievable goals.

    And less than two years later, “Life” magazine was in his new dream home
    (that he had envisioned during the train trip), asking questions as to
    what turned his life around…and he contributed the change to turning
    the vague dreams he had into achievable goals during that trans-siberian
    train ride.

    Jana, Anthony’s approach brought incredible insight into my own living,
    maybe you’ll find it useful too for brainstorming what you want to do once you get to Japan :)

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       I’ve heard of this kind of “working backwards” approach before. It makes sense, and I’m sure it does work for a lot of people! Even with such an approach though, somewhere along the way you could find yourself realizing that the dream you’re working to achieve just isn’t what you want anymore. Personally it has never really worked for me to make long-term plans for my life, because I always end up changing my mind! I know some people are different, though.

      • Mikemike

        New ideas are the culprit to long-term planning, it’s true, that’s why you have to use erasable marker when writing them down :) But the other thing that caught my attention from the Robbins story was that he spend several weeks(!) writing goals down…I mean, that is some serious goal-setting session :) and opens the mind to all the possibilities out there.

        • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

           Well, I spend a lot of time fantasizing about all the things I’d like to do! Haha… Actually I really like thinking about my future life, and sometimes it seems I spend too much time thinking about it. ^^;

  • Thecrazyexplorer

    Totally unrelated question: how do you feel about traveling by plane, especially long flights to Asia. How do you cope with plane turbulence? Im sure as a traveler you’ve had some crazy plane stories. How do keep the fear out?

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       Hm… I personally have never had any fear of flying, so I’m afraid I’m probably not the best person to ask for advice on that topic! Honestly, my only problem with long flights is that they’re uncomfortable and I can’t sleep on them. I usually fix that by getting lots of rest after landing, though!

  • Markam91

    Maybe Japan just has the ability to fool people into thinking they are connected to the country in some way. I always had this sort of feeling that I could have been Japanese in my previous life. I can cry looking at Ando Hiroshige’s paintings. The biggest wish of my university friend is to life in Japan. He wants to become a full fledged Japanese citizien, adopt the Japanese family name etc. Maybe we all love Japan because of it’s charm, because it’s different, so distant that we can relate our dreams to it.

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about Japan, but I’m pretty sure it’s not true of everyone either! I certainly know of people who have been content just staying there for a year or two before returning to their home countries. I also know of people who feel a similar connection to other countries besides Japan!

  • ellaslyckokalla

    After watching this I have so much to say. First of all it was very welcome because somehow I am attached to your blog, and your way of writing appeals to me, but because we think alike and you dare saying it out loud, it stresses me because it is mostly about accomplishments, of achieving perfection in many different areas. I was so relieved when you admitted that you have to for example give that up when it comes to french, because hearing that others can, make it possible for me too. 

    Your speech on the dream part itself was very interesting, I have never thought about it exactly that way before but it is so damn true.I am an au pair too, in Germany though, and that was one of my dreams for such a long time. Everything was so exciting at first but when the everyday life really sat in, I realized that I wasn’t living that dream. I had taken the step to move to Germany but it wasn’t what I had expected. I went home to Sweden for Christmas and that was what I needed. Yes, you need to get away to let everything sink in. I realized there in Sweden, that I did want to go back to Germany. And one fact about dreams; when you get there, they aren’t exactly what you thought. You need to dare try it and you need to be open enough to still appreciate it when you do get there. The attitude I first had with Germany was that “I will just do it, so it will be done (To cross it out from my to-do-list kind of)”. So Why couldn’t I just give it up? Because deep down, it was a true dream. And I needed a small brake to figure that out. If you don’t take the time you can never separate your dreams for you and society’s! I hope anything made sense. I am going to Paris on sunday. Want to have a coffee?Good luck with your dreams!

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       Hm… I have written about the subject of giving up in the past, but maybe I am focusing too much on achievements without realizing it. I’m glad I was able to give you a breath of fresh air with this video, though!

      Thank you for sharing your story. :) It definitely makes sense, and I think it’s a good example of the sort of thing I was talking about.

      I’m sorry we weren’t able to meet up in Paris by the way. Maybe some other time!

  • ellaslyckokalla

    After watching this I have so much to say. First of all it was very welcome because somehow I am attached to your blog, and your way of writing appeals to me, but because we think alike and you dare saying it out loud, it stresses me because it is mostly about accomplishments, of achieving perfection in many different areas. I was so relieved when you admitted that you have to for example give that up when it comes to french, because hearing that others can, make it possible for me too. 
    Your speech on the dream part itself was very interesting, I have never thought about it exactly that way before but it is so damn true.I am an au pair too, in Germany though, and that was one of my dreams for such a long time. Everything was so exciting at first but when the everyday life really sat in, I realized that I wasn’t living that dream. I had taken the step to move to Germany but it wasn’t what I had expected. I went home to Sweden for Christmas and that was what I needed. Yes, you need to get away to let everything sink in. I realized there in Sweden, that I did want to go back to Germany. And one fact about dreams; when you get there, they aren’t exactly what you thought. You need to dare try it and you need to be open enough to still appreciate it when you do get there. The attitude I first had with Germany was that “I will just do it, so it will be done (To cross it out from my to-do-list kind of)”. So Why couldn’t I just give it up? Because deep down, it was a true dream. And I needed a small brake to figure that out. If you don’t take the time you can never separate your dreams for you and society’s! I hope anything made sense. I am going to Paris on sunday. Want to have a coffee?Good luck with your dreams!

  • http://www.wakeupcloud.com/ Henri Junttila

    Hey Jana,
    I can relate to what you’re saying. I can’t even count the times I’ve thought I wanted something only to realize that it wasn’t really what I wanted.

    For me, there’s always a kind of relief when I have one of these realizations, when I realize it’s okay not to do what I thought I wanted to do. It’s okay not to force things I don’t want anyway, just because it looks/sounds good.

    I’ve stopped seeing dreams as end points. Instead, I see them as something that pulls me toward something. Fluent, flowing and ever-changing.

    Sometimes that means living in Spain for a year, and sometimes it means exploring a weird language for 3 months, then letting it go.

    It almost feels like life is living me, instead of the other way around. I’m just along for the ride, and when I start feeling resistance, it’s time to let go.

    My two cents :)

    Keep on rocking!

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       Yes, it’s definitely a huge relief when you have that realization and can finally be free of the pressure you’d been putting on yourself!

      And I like how you describe dreams as pulling you in a general direction rather than to a specific place. That seems to be a good way to think about it.

      Thanks for the great comment! :)

  • denise oliveira

    Hello Jana, 

    I want to say that I love your blog and I agree with you about following the dreams, as you had this dream about living in Japan, I have the same about France, I study french and I really wanna go to Paris as au pair but I’ve decided to go to NY first and improve my english, so I’m moving there in June, but I keep studying french to go to Paris after NY. Anyway, congrats for you blog and I’ll be following you here :)

    Greetings from Brazil

    http://www.dopequiaocroissant.com

    Denise.

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

       Thanks very much for the comment! New York sounds like a great place for an adventure. :) I’ve never actually been there myself, but it’s definitely on my “hit list” of places to see! I hope you have a great time there and that you will make it to France eventually. :)

  • Audrey

    Hi Jana, 

    I just wanted to say it’s nice to see that there are other people out there like me. Ever since I was an exchange student in Switzerland it became clear to me that Europe was where I wanted to live, and the European lifestyle fit me much better than the American one. I still find it easier to talk to/relate to Europeans. Also, like your love for Japanese, my love for Russian began when I started learning it at 14. And then last year I lived in Ukraine for 4 months teaching English, and even though I had never been there before it felt very comfortable to me, and I felt like I belong. I’m probably going to go to school in St. Petersburg in the fall. I’ll see how that compares to Ukraine ;)  

    Anyways, I mainly wanted to ask, have you thought about becoming an interpreter? An English native working in Japan might be highly valued. That’s currently my dream. For Russian, of course, not Japanese ;)

    All the best in whatever you end up doing!
    Audrey

    • http://www.janafadness.com Jana Fadness

      Hey, thanks for commenting and I’m sorry it’s taken me forever to get back to you. ^^; I have thought about becoming an interpreter, but decided against it mostly because I’m not interested in specializing in something like economics or medicine, which seems to be necessary if you want to be successful in that business.

  • http://www.facebook.com/YoshiLeoHanakame Yoshi Leo Hanakame

    Hello Jana, as an Asian people and japanese native speaker, your japanese and chinese are very natural so i was so surprised.
    As I also speak 3 languages plus some other languages (improving), I am very happy to see people like you who arrived the GOAL!!
    Great!! Hope we could talk each other some day!

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